Carnival Cruise Lines: Cold Hearted Bastards of the Day

Carnival Cruise Lines is scrambling to avert another public relations nightmare in the wake of reports that one of its luxury ships ignored a distressed fishing boat and left two of the occupants to die at sea.

The Panamanian fishing vessel was adrift in the Gulf of Panama with three men aboard when, according to one of them, a large vessel passed but ignored signals for help.

"Instead of helping us, they left us," said fisherman Adrian Vazquez, whose boat had been drifting for two weeks at that point after losing engine power.

One of Vazquez's fellow fishermen died of dehydration that night. The other died five days later, on March 15.

Read more here.

Log Driver's Waltz

Norwich City: A**holes of the Day

They're hiding their embarrassment and technical incompetence by going after this kid. What a bunch of assholes.

A 17-year-old Norwich City fan has angered the club by leaking pictures of its new kit 12 hours before the official launch.

Norfolk Police were called in after IT student Chris Brown published images of the 2012-13 strip on the internet.

Chris has apologised to the club, which said it would protect its intellectual property at all times.

Police have said all parties had agreed the matter could be resolved through a "face-to-face" meeting.

The teenager, from Norwich, managed to obtain the pictures from the club's kit launch website as it was being updated.

He said he then posted the images on Twitter.

Read more here.

Michael Baker: Idiot of the Day

Stunning stupidity

A Kentucky man is facing a misdemeanor rap after he siphoned gasoline from a police car, a theft that came to the attention of cops after the perp posted a Facebook photo memorializing the crime.

Read more here.

New app proves once again what a moron Rob Ford is

How about an app that let's me take a picture of Ford giving the finger to a mother and her daughter....

Taking the city's battle to clean up Toronto digital, Rob Ford visited a lane way near St. Clair and Lansdowne to unveil a new mobile app that lets citizens report unwanted graffiti instantly. Instead of coughing up for a phone call, smart phone users can now snap a picture and whisk it off to 311 for processing.

"This is as efficient as it gets," remarked Ford at press conference earlier today. "This will make it easier than ever to report graffiti vandalism and help keep the city spotless.

Read more here.

UFO

A Horizon Guide To Dinosaurs

Police in Moorhead, Minnesota: Scumbags of the Day

Stacy Knutson, a server at the Fryn' Pan Restaurant in Moorhead, got the tip back in November from a customer who left a takeout box inside the restaurant.

Knutson followed the customer out to parking lot and tried to give her the box but the woman told her to keep it. When Knutson opened it, she found $12,000 in cash.

Knutson, a mother of five, called local police and turned in the cash as lost property.

At first, police said the cash would be hers if it remained unclaimed for 60 days, according to the lawsuit Knutson filed against the department.

At the end of the 60 days, however, the department told Knutson she would have to wait another 30 days to get the money.

Then police told her she would not receive the money at all because it smelled of marijuana and had been seized under a state law.

Read more here.

Andrew Sullivan just loves him some Pink Slime

...I honestly can't see why there's been all this fuss about it. "Waste not, want not," was my mother's constant refrain. But then I love steak and kidney pudding and liver and bacon.

Read more here.

More government attempts to control the Internet, this time Arizona

In one of the most sweeping attacks on free speech in America, the Arizona legislature has passed a draconian bill that would criminalize speech on the Internet (“any electronic or digital device”) that prosecutors consider “obscene, lewd or profane language or . . . suggest[ing] a lewd or lascivious act if done with intent to ‘annoy,’ ‘offend,’ ‘harass’ or ‘terrify.’” The law is largely undefined and is in my view facially unconstitutional. The law would drive a stake in the heart of free speech. Yet, people like Bill Clinton have been calling for such a crackdown on Internet speech for years.

Read more here.

Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing on Rainbows

Billy Payne, chairman of Augusta National Golf Club: Idiot of the Day

The chairman of the club that hosts America's most prestigious golf tournament skirted the prickly issue of women's membership Wednesday, saying it is a private matter.

During his annual media session, Billy Payne, chairman of Augusta National Golf Club, did not comment specifically on Ginni Rometty, the top executive at IBM and, undoubtedly, one of the corporate world's most powerful women.

IBM's sponsorship of the Masters tournament guarantees club membership for its officers, but Rometty is a woman, and the club does not allow women to join.

"Well, as has been the case, whenever that question is asked, all issues of membership are now and have historically been subject to the private deliberation of members," Payne said. "That statement remains accurate; it remains my statement."

Read more here.

Oil Industry in Canada makes sure to gouge before Easter weekend

Canadians woke up to spiking gasoline costs this morning, with prices reaching 140.1 cents a litre in Toronto and 147.9 in Montreal.

That's about eight per cent higher than a year ago, even though crude oil prices are lower.

Crude for May delivery fell $1.05 to $102.95 US a barrel Wednesday morning on the New York Mercantile Exchange. A year ago, crude was trading at $104 a barrel.

Read more here.

Tim Tam Slammer

New York's Department of Education realizes how dumb they looked

One week after New York's Department of Education drew controversy with a request to ban 50 words and references from the city's standardized tests – including “dinosaur,” “birthday” and "religion" – the department announced Tuesday that it is abandoning the plan.

"After reconsidering our message to test publishers and the reaction from parents, we will revise our guidance and eliminate the list of words to avoid on tests,” New York Chief Academic Officer Shael Polakow-Suransky said in a statement.

“We will continue to advise companies to be sensitive to student backgrounds and avoid unnecessary distractions that could invalidate test scores and give an inaccurate assessment of how students are doing," the statement continued.

Read more here.

Harper and Co. compensate for small dicks with F-35's, damn the cost

The Department of National Defence did not run a fair competition to choose the F-35 fighter jet, is likely underestimating the total procurement cost, and made key decisions without required approvals or proper documentation, the auditor general concludes in his spring report released today.

Michael Ferguson's first report as auditor general is heavy-hitting, and highlights a long list of problems with how the decisions were made to buy 65 F-35 planes to replace the aging CF-18s. But it also raises questions about how much the planes will cost and what DND officials were telling Canadians, and their members of Parliament, about that pricetag.

Read more here.

I have seen the future of Crap, and its name is Rock of Ages

The US Supreme Court doesn't give a f*ck about you

Land of the Free...

The Supreme Court on Monday ruled by a 5-to-4 vote that officials may strip-search people arrested for any offense, however minor, before admitting them to jails even if the officials have no reason to suspect the presence of contraband.

Read more here.

Fragments

A selection of clips from CGI projects I've done.

Texas's Rangers Ballpark charges 26$ for 2 feet of cow lips

Everything is bigger in Texas and the Rangers' new Champion Dog is no exception. The two foot hot dog with one pound of meat is the latest addition to the Sportservice menu at Rangers Ballpark.

The whopping wiener is topped with chili, sautéed onions and shredded cheese. It may be a bit pricey at $26 but at two feet, you could feed the whole family. Heck you could feed an entire ball team.

Read more here.